Choosing your spouse – 3

For some reason I was too weak to go to church on Sunday, I decided to spend time with Dan Foster on Praise & Inspiration on inspiration FM and I got to hear these testimonies.

Two young people fell in love and got married and within one year of their marriage, God blessed them; wife got pregnant with a set of twins, and they had nine months of blissful journey carrying the baby and then at delivery, one of the babies died and then some days later, the wife also died. And this man called in to praise God and asked Him for forgiveness about three weeks after.

Another Lady called in to say she heard God lead her out of a relationship, to marry a person and within six month of marriage she found out her husband had another child outside of marriage and she was heart broken but life then goes on.

Another lady called in to talk about the miscarriage she had within one year of marriage that left her bitter but she’s now encouraged to bless God!

I asked myself what can prepare a person for times like this? This man got married looking forward to a life time of Joy, Peace, Love and Accomplishments and now he is experiencing this?

What could have prepared a person for such emotional swing; joy one moment and the next what seems like an endless pit of sadness?

Only God and God alone!

I was also listening to some analysis of a new book about the unknown prophet  over the weekend and one of the things she mention about this present times is that the enemy is attacking Christian marriages; Leading people to choose wrongly and even when they choose rightly distract them with challenges of life to keep them from working for the kingdom. So that you hear some people say they are so beaten they feel they have nothing to offer. Let me tell about the Wounded Healer! By His stripes you are healed! The stripes of Jesus did not keep him from being a healer rather it confirmed his being a healer. All your scars are for the healing of others.

I never knew the kind of joys and sorrows I have experienced since being married could ever exist. I never knew I could come this far almost scar less but you know what I am here today more resolved than ever before not to waste any of my pain and joy. And so I have decided to write after every pain or joy.

We have been talking about the perquisites to marriage for sometime now and I have come to the conclusion that no long list will answer the question. The one and only thing you need before you proceed and while on this journey of marriage is God. Quit playing church and get real with God. Get into the Bible and study the word, make it food for your soul. Learn to be a Christian by reading about the life of Christ. Understand the grace and new life you have been called to by reading the New Testament thoroughly. Study the Old to understanding how the journey began and appreciate the kind of God you worship. Stop toying with sin; the wages of sin is death!

The only reason we fall apart is because God is not the one holding our very core together. A solid relationship with God will walk you through every storm or success in life.

Get and Remain Connected to God!

Shalom!

omolola ezeifeoma

Choosing your spouse – 2

I will start from the questions we had to answer from the last post.

Do you know your calling?

If you do, what are you doing about it?

And if not, are you on your way to discovering purpose?

The Bible tells us that we have been called out of darkness to show forth the glory of Him who has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light.

I will love for us to understand what this passage means. If God has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light then there must be a process. There is a process we must go through to be able to radiate that light!

After we have given our lives to Christ we must go through this process before we can ever attain any level of maturity.

The first priority of a young Christian should be building a relationship with God, learning to understand his leading, coveting the position of becoming God’s Sheep. Jesus said in John 10:27 (MSG) ‘My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me’.  This means a lot of things; first as God’s Sheep you should be able to recognize His voice, know when he is speaking to you and when your flesh is speaking to you. It will be easier for you to know God is okaying your choice of partner is if you are able to hear him speak to you and can adequately recognize his voice. Secondly God must acknowledge you as His own; we all know God knows those who are His. As much as we often say only God knows who is His, in order to avoid judging another person, we also are able by the Spirit of God within us to know who is of God. So before you decide to make a choice, you need to be able to first know that you are God’s, that is, your spirit bears witness that you belong to God and His Spirit is living with you. By so doing, you can know if the Spirit of God resides in another person.

 And finally the third part of the scripture: God’s sheep follow Him; so if you and I are the Christian we claim to be we should do His will at all times. Behave like Jesus would in any situation. Go back to the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) and learn about the person of Christ.

In Christianity, no one may ever get to the height but the truth is that we know when we have stepped up, we know when we are no longer who we used to be. Something happens inside of us. The chances that you will be able to identify a real Christian when you meet one is completely based on your being a true one.

The first priority for any new Christian has to be perfecting this new found relationship with God Almighty.

A product of our growing relationship with God is our purpose. For many people who know their purpose and are pursuing it today, discovery of purpose did not come by sitting in a corner and expecting it. It usually comes by doing the things God says you should do per time. From there you discover it’s either your God given purpose to do the things He told you to do or that they are essential to what God has called you to actually do.

If you have been blessed with knowledge of what your purpose is, it means you know the master. He knows you and you are able to identify his voice. The next question is this, are you following the Shepherd? Are you constantly in touch with heaven for direction on what path to follow to destiny? Have you written down the vision, made it plain to see? A person armed with purpose is the most dangerous person for the pit of hell, hence a major target of the enemy. So you have to be aware of where you stand. Your active pursuit of purpose will distract people from or attract people to you. It will help a person considering you for a choice of life partner reconsider and ask questions like - can I cope with this lifestyle? It will also guide you in knowing who will fit into your future so that you can say like Adam, this is the bone of my bone…

By His grace next post we will be looking at pointers to readiness for relationship.

God Bless you.

omolola ezeifeoma

Choosing your spouse – 1

It is interesting today what the parameters of choosing a life partner is for a Christian. I believe we have gotten so much information and we are lost as to how to apply them to our lives. Recently, I was going through my life and how I chose to marry my husband, I learnt a few lessons and I want to share some of them you.

After God created man, He prepared the Garden of Eden and placed Adam there. He gave him the task of dressing and keeping the garden. He also gave him a commandment to keep. He then took a second look at the Adam and said it is not good for him to remain alone, so God went to work on finding a mate fit, while Adam was busy fulfilling God’s task for him. Then God put Adam to sleep and created from Adam, Eve. Adam woke up to find a mate carved every inch to his specs, and exclaimed ‘The Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’. Genesis 2:7-25

Before I go any further I want us to have this in mind, God is a God of order, He has standards, as much as the spirit can move us to do things, they must be in line with God’s order of doing things.

After God created Adam, He gave him accommodation; a source of food; He prepared an office for him to operate and placed him there. Adam had a clear knowledge of his calling, he understood what he was supposed to be doing and he was doing it. He was not complaining of being lonely or making excuses for why he could not do what God had called him to do.

How do we relate this to us as modern day Christians?

Bible says that every born again person is a new creature, like a baby, in its rawest form, that need to learn to eat, smile, hold up his neck, seat, talk, crawl, walk, run, jump, read, write, reason etc. This reminds me of when I had my son; he was so delicate and depended on me for everything, even his immunity. It took six months for his digestive tracts to be ready for what I call food. This really describes us when we newly give our lives to Christ.

When we give our lives to Christ we are like a new born babe, open to a new world, a new order of doing things and so we need to learn the principles of our new world and God’s standards of doing things by renewing our mind with the word of God (Rom12:1-2). Studying to show ourselves approved (2Tim 2:15). Associating with a set of people (born again children of God) in order to learn how to live the life. It’s unfortunate that today we have very few genuine Christians to associate with and that’s why we have a community like Christ Lifeline.

As we grow in faith, one of the things God does, is show us the purpose of our calling as we seek Him. Just like Adam, it is essential we know what our calling is before going into marriage.

Why? Knowledge of your calling is essential to discovering yourself, and ability to know who your mate should be. Adam did not have to ask God what Eve was meant for when she was presented to him. He knew. When we know God’s call upon our life we get direction.

A lot of Christian courtship is in trouble today because both parties have not identified what their calling is, hence don’t know why God brought them together and so the best they can do when their together is look into each other’s eyes, admire their bodies and fall into sin so easily. The attraction was just physical, no destiny in mind.

I have some questions that I want to leave with you (single or married) today -

Do you know your calling?

If you do, what are you doing about it?

And if not, are you on your way to discovering purpose?

There’s still so much to say but I will leave it here for now.

We will continue this discussion in the next post.

Love you,

omolola ezeifeoma

Our Spirituality and our Relationships

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Be in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

Today a lot of Christians battle with different question like; how to keep a pre-marital relationship clean? How to keep away from adultery? How to manage a troublesome spouse? etc. The truth is that we rarely hear straight answers to these questions but I believe there is something responsible for every one of these problems.

After I gave my life to Christ, I fell in love with the first scripture listed and it formed my very being. It is not just another faith boosting scripture or a declaration of faith, rather it is the reality of Christian faith that we must experience and live in the understanding of, so that the “I” in this passage of the scriptures refer to you. Today I join my voice with this man of a great God to declare that I have been crucified with Christ.

If indeed we have been crucified with Christ how is it that our flesh still yearns for carnal things. How is it possible that Christ lives in you and at the slightest opportunity you give in to the temptation around you?

If the life we now live is based on faith in God and the work of grace through Christ, why are we battling so much in our relationships? Jesus Christ our greatest example managed every relationship intelligently and we see that even when He was brought before the judges of this world, they found nothing in Him. If we have faith in Him, where are we missing it?

I write today not as one immune from all these but as a fellow who has gone up and down and understands better now. The source of any Christian is his or her relationship with God. When this goes down, all other things go down with it, no matter how much progress you appear to be making while you are far away from God.

Many times we say He has been faithful even though I have been unfaithful. What we fail to understand is that what we call faithfulness of God is really crumbs. So here we are celebrating the fact that we got the crumbs of the toast when we could get the toast itself.

What is the application of this powerful scripture, I have been crucified with Christ, so I do not live anymore, old principles need to be verified against the word of God and confirmed fit. Whatever situation you find yourself, look into the scriptures for answers. Don’t wait for situations to come before you get prepared; get a study Bible, read about the life of this man called Jesus, become familiar with His ways, because this will be your new lifestyle.

 I have discovered by experience that my best times in life were those times when my relationship with God was at its peak. I express love to my husband the more when my heart is right with God. Here is another secret, God is Love, before we can love like God wants us to, we must encounter the heart of God. The ordinary man is incapable of loving as described in 1Corinthians 13.

It is disturbing and mind bugging when I see a child of God in an unequally yoked relationship, it tells me that it is either such a person has never been a Christian or has a crisis that requires urgent attention. If you are truly a friend to such a person, it is time to have a heart to heart discussion. And if you are that person it’s time to check yourself and address the issue. Find you way back to the Father’s heart.

Let me ask a question – Can a spirit filled brother or sister be asking for sex before marriage? If the answer is no, why do we hear of Christians being bugged by this phenomenon so much that people come to the conclusion “ no one is real in church anymore, so let’s go outside at least there I know what I am going to get” . Really such conclusions are indications that the so called Christian here is just fishing for a spouse through Christianity. Thank God likes will always find themselves.

Can a spirit filled husband beat up his wife, go without providing for his home, put down his wife at every opportunity and fail to consider his wife’s feelings? or can spirit filled wife nag at the slightest provocation, deny her husband the attention he requires, take out her frustrations on the children, in-laws and everyone around?

The answer is no! The spirit within us will not allow such behaviour, the Bible tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance Galatians 5:22-23.

The Spirit of God in us, empowers us to live the life we have been called to. Bible tells us in Proverbs that counsel in the heart is like deep waters and but a man of understanding will draw it out - Proverbs 20:5.

As Christians we are empowered to have solution for every matter, inside of us are answers as we plug into the Spirit. God has poured out His Spirit on us.

We need to move to the next level where Understanding is the order of the day. Reach deep inside of you.

I love you.

omolola ezeifeoma

A Greater Year Awaits Us

The past year was a very eventful one for me, there were high and low times. Today standing on the top of the hill 2008, alive, happy, full of Joy, I can say God has been very faithful.

As we begin the journey into 2009, let’s take stock of our relationships again and learn from our mistakes or achievements of the past year?

I took time to ask some people around (both single and married) this question and here are some answers……..

• Money indeed is like liquid and it takes the form you give it. If you make it a source joy in your marriage, then you run into problems when there’s scarcity of it. Money is great to have but should not be glorified above God! He (God) is the most important factor.

• Don’t let anything stand in the way of purpose. You will frustrate everyone around you (including your family) and yourself, if you fail to follow purpose.

• Forgive and Forget!

• You will need a bigger lie to cover a big lie. Never consider telling a lie as an option.

• Love is giving and giving and giving…………………………it is not selfish.

• Be a good team player, you write it in your CV all the time, now let team work begin at home.

• Don’t talk when your spouse is angry, allow the bubbles settle first. (This applies to me).

• Prayer works, there’s absolutely nothing that cannot be resolved on your knees.

• Soak yourself in the word always, it’s your sword! And don’t forget your shield, Faith!

• Always let go, God is the Master mould, He alone can change all things especially concerning your spouse and confusing situations.

• As you work on changing yourself, you will see your partner change.

• Be slow to speak, it pays to listen more and don’t speak hastily, for you cannot retrieve your words.

• Communication is very important; learn how to share your thought with one another but never during an argument.

• Do things together!

• When things back fire never say I told you. Share the pains and joys together.

• Woman, be submissive to your husband and Man love your wife.

• Seek God’s face for all things.

• Even in marriage there is personal spirituality and joint spirituality.

God help us all as we work towards making things work this year.

God Bless!

omolola ezeifeoma

Marriage and Money

Marriage is like a man and woman going into a room and taking off their clothes with the light on. You get to see each other’s blemishes that have been hidden by clothes earlier. One of the greatest discoveries would be your partner’s attitude towards money. For some, the discovery is not immediate. And in a situation where one of the partners has lived beyond his or her means prior to marriage, it seems like the first thing they notice, once the doors are closed after the ceremony.

Money is a major part of human life. And money represents different things at different times, to different people.

Money represents time; money is a reward we get after spending hours of our life at working hard. Money is a problem solver. Money is a seed that can be sown to multiply it. Money is a gift to be shared with others that do not have.

Money gives a form of confidence.

Everyone should have some money under his or her control. By this I mean money that can be spent without having to answer to anyone on how and why.

Money can build walls between people in any form of relationship and this is even worse in marriage.

Most couples no matter how spiritual, educated or in love will disagree over money at one point in time or the other and where this is not well managed, light cracks begin to appear in the marriage.

I once read that when sex is good in a marriage, it is 10% and when it is bad it is 90%. I want to relate the same to money, when finance is good in a marriage; it is 10% and when it is bad it is 90%.

In the light of the times we are in today, I want to focus on when the finance situation is bad.

Everyone has a financial situation or the other, sometimes it seems as though marriage places a magnifying lens on our financial situation. Immediately after marriage your status quo changes, especially here in Africa, now you’re expected to participate more in family events and your own cost of living is growing too. 

Whenever things are tight like this in families, there’s lot of pressure on husband and wife, or the intending couple planning to get married.

The stock markets have not boomed like everyone expected, plans have been made based on expectations that have not been met. Instead we have a situation where banks are trying to recovered monies borrowed out. And now a festive season is about the corner, what do we do? Where do we run to?

The last thing we are expected to do as believers is to take the pressure on one another and ruin the spirit of the season.

Love should help us bind more to each other, love can conquer all, fit your budget into what you have and enjoy a lower budget holiday bearing in mind that the next will be greater!

Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen; though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted; though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty,

I'm singing joyful praise to GOD. I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.

Counting on GOD's Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer. I feel like I'm king of the mountain!   Hab 3:17-19 (MSG)

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.     Hab 3:17-19 (KJV)

So put up the Christmas lights and start playing the Christmas jingles, put everyone around you in the holiday mood.

Bring down every imagination and high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God and enjoy this Christmas.

All things are working together for your good!

Lots of Love

omolola ezeifeoma

Finding Someone To Marry

No doubt, finding a wife or husband is one of the most tasking challenges single people go through. That does not mean all single people have to go through the same experiences. However, if you are in the process of looking for a spouse, I would like to share with you some useful ideas. My prayer is that God will lead you to the right person He has for you. And that brings about a point I need to explain briefly:

Is there a right person for someone to marry?

Without any hesitation, I say yes. God has a plan for your life. That plan includes who you marry. Just as you have to discover (not create) your destiny, so also you have to find (not create) who your spouse is. “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22, NLT). When people feel they could just marry whoever they see fit, God may not stop them. But they would have to live with the consequences of their decisions. So, there is someone meant for you as your spouse.

“How can I find her or him”, you ask.

Delight in God

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart”, (Psalm 37:4, NIV). Your starting point is with God. He is the Alpha, the Beginning. Pray to Him about your desire to marry. Trust Him to lead you in the right direction. Be sincere about accepting whoever God reveals to you as your spouse. Marriage is His idea. He knows who you truly need. He has the best for you but His best sometimes may not look as good as you want. Be careful not to look down on anyone. Be careful not to reject a gift because of the wrappers. Relax! Delight in His choice and you will later find out that God is always good.

Prepare yourself

Getting married should not be a race to see who gets to the altar first. It is not a competition to find out who could get married before whom. 2 Chronicles 27:6 says, “So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God”, (KJV). Do you want to be a great wife or husband? Do you want to have a great marriage? Then you need to prepare yourself. Arithmetically, ½ + ½ = 1. But when it comes to marriage, half plus half do not make a whole. Do not go into marriage because you are hurting or bleeding from past pains. You need time to be healed, restored, and made whole. God “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”, (Psalm 147:3, NIV). Relationship is a mutual sharing of lives between people. While God is working on your future spouse, let Him help you too to prepare yourself. That way, both of you would be a blessing to each other.

Use your gift of discernment.

You need it so much in this regard. A lot of guys tend to appear somehow lower in status than the ladies they are intending to marry. Dear sister, use your discernment before turning him down. Some ladies also had gone through some rough experiences that could discourage some men. Dear brother, exercise the wisdom of God before giving up on her. Joseph attempted to reject Mary because of her pregnancy. But God’s best deal for Joseph was Mary.

Look for someone to love

Are you searching for a Mr. or Miss Perfect? Someone out of this world? Quit wasting your time. The promise from God is that He will bless you with a “helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary)” for you, (Genesis 2:18, AMP). Avoid setting unnecessary standard that could hinder you. Go for God’s promise, someone you could love for the rest of your life. Relate with singles. Come out of your shell. If you lock up yourself in a room for the next 10 years, how will you meet your spouse? There is a place for relating with singles even as you trust God to send you your spouse. Without being immorally flirtatious, get to know more about people who would like to marry you.

God is at work in your marital life, never stop rejoicing and praising Him.

victor adeola king

The Wise Woman Builds

I share with you today the story of a woman, who can be you, your wife, your sister, a friend, please come along with me and enjoy going through this piece like I did when I was told the Story. So many lessons to learn, for everyone!

She felt hurt, wounded and disappointed by her trusted friend whom had pledged to be with her for the rest of her life before hundreds of people.

She could not imagine what her next line of action would be. Thoughts flooded her mind, questions poked her heart. How did I get here? She asked herself. How did I get into this situation? I thought I had it all figured out in the beginning. I never bargained for this.

After the argument yesterday I felt like throwing in the towel. It just seemed like this is never going to work, for the past 2 years it has just be one argument or the other. I try to explain myself but it seems I use the wrong words. I am just tired.

She was tired, tired of fighting, with this state of mind she decided to take her mind off the troubles of the world and enter into the only world she had always known nothing but security. She took her Bible and opened without necessarily looking for any passage and her eyes caught the passage ‘A wise woman builds her house and a foolish woman tears it down with her hands’

In her place of escape …

She Speaks…

My Lord what are you saying? A wise woman builds? Lord what do I have in my hands to build with? What is even there to build?

He Speaks…

And He answered; even the dry bones shall rise again! A wise woman builds because she has faith in her Lord. She believes His word that ‘He makes all things work together for the good of them that love Him and are called  work according to His  purpose’, ‘He restores wasted year, that the canker worm and the caterpillars have eaten’, He brings back all the glories that have been taken away.

A wise woman builds because she is a selfless one who understands that loves keeps no record of wrongs, she has communed with her Lord long enough to live out the words of her master who says, for my own sake I will not remember your sins, as far as the east is from the west I have taken your sins away from you. Love forgives, Love is not jealous, Love does not rejoice at the fall of another, Love never fails…

A wise woman does the right thing even when it seems like the most foolish thing to do; she takes in the scorn of friends, family and foes just the get to the mark (A marriage that works and continuously glorifies God).

She does not take responsibility for another person’s wrong but she tries to correct the wrong. She covers her husband’s shortcomings. She is like Abigail who acknowledged her husbands folly and acted to cover him. She is like Zipporah who knew what her husband did wrong and immediately takes action to save her family. She is that person who answers to the calling for a man to stand in the gap.

She Speaks…

Oh Lord this is a lot; can I really do all this?

He Speaks…

Yes you can, my grace is Sufficient for thee.

I know God is speaking to someone, please listen and hang in there.

God Bless

omolola ezeifeoma

Keep the Air Fresh

Have you ever been in a room that has been left for a while without use? The first thing you’ll notice is the stale air and dust. If you’re like me the first thing you will do is sneeze on entering and run for the louvers in order to take in some fresh air and expel the dust.

This description is what fits a number of Christian homes today. Mummy and Daddy are not on talking terms, and instead of obeying the scriptures by not letting the sun set on our anger, we let it set and rise for many days. The devil steps in and capitalizes on the space left and before you know it, a once sweet song has stopped playing.

What’s the situation in your home like? Is the air in your home stuffy? Do you have a well ventilated home? Do you keep the windows open to let stale air out and allow fresh air in? Do you remember to close the windows at night?

Remember, Love keeps no record of wrong; Love does not seek its own. If you really love your partner as much as you said then, you need to forget about who is wrong and work on creating an atmosphere to correct the wrong. Forget about how hurt you feel and try to make things work again.

This is not denying that the other person has done wrong, it is avoiding, killing an ant with a sledge hammer. If you lose the trust of your spouse in a bid to make a point, you will never make that point.  In a matter of time you will find out that you have only succeeded in widening the gap between you two.

I can almost hear someone say I am sure you don’t understand Lola; you can’t imagine what he/she did. Whatever the person has done could not be as bad as what you did to the saviour before you met Him and even after you got to know Him. And you know what God commended His love towards us while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Can you follow in His footsteps by forgiving even without hearing a sorry?

Marriage is a call to live the Christianity we profess.

We need to take the words of God just as they are. Your actions will never gain popularity with men, quit getting counsel from people who don’t belong to same redemption plan as you. Bible says ’Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly’ Psalm1:1.

Submit yourself again to the Holy Spirit, forget about pride and yourself, think about the kind of marriage you want and work towards achieving it by converting all this stumbling block to stepping stones.

After every disagreement with my spouse I try to achieve some goals

·         Identify the reason behind the argument Objectively

·         Identify what I did not do right

·         Identify what he did not do right

·         Forgive, Forget and move on.

Please let this words flow freely as often as they need to be said

·         I love you.

·         I'm sorry.

·         Please forgive me.

·         Let's try again.

God Bless you as you let love win always.

- omolola ezeifeoma

Managing the Information You Get - 2

Something that worked before in your relationship, can fail when tried another time

Have you ever tried practicing something you read from a book in your relationship and it worked, and then you tried the same thing another time and it flops?

Relationships are very dynamic in nature, because it involves two people who are constantly changing too. Sometimes the change is positive and sometimes negative, so we need to depend on the Holy Spirit on a per second basis.

Every relationship is constantly evolving.

Change is constant, just as your partner is changing for better or worse, so are you. Sometimes while you are thinking your partner is the problem, you actually are the problem. Our relationship takes a different dimension every time we go through some change of any sort. Jesus Christ tells us about taking care of the log in our own eyes first. Once you have a log in your eyes, your vision will be blurred and you’ll misinterpret situations. Keep working on becoming a better you and rub it off on your partner, then your relationship will evolve for the better. A better you will handle changes better.

Your relationship will become what you want after you have given it time to grow.

Many people especially women believe in the happily ever after story and so after the wedding they look forward to an unending honeymoon. Please don’t get me wrong I believe in the honeymoon lasting forever concept but before then there’s a price to pay.

The Honeymoon experience is one that everyone must have and like I say to my friends you must try to bring some stars back from the moon. After the honeymoon period is over and life is returning to normal gradually (not like it would ever be normal again), you begin to see that your marriage is not perfect, reality begins to set in.

You need to always remember that your relationship with your partner will eventually become what you want it to be, after you have sown seeds and given it time to grow.

Nobody knows you and your spouse more than the one who created you two in the first place. Only God can tell what your partner’s line of thought and reasoning is, therefore only Him can give adequate direction on what to do per time. God is even able to tell you your partner’s expectations so you can step up to meet them if you don’t allow flesh get in your way.

Therefore only the Father himself can guide you through His Spirit on how to apply all you have learnt. Sometimes information come tailor made for you and sometimes customization is required from your part when applying knowledge. Whatever the case may be, trust the Lord to lead you through His Spirit to apply knowledge.

Finally my brethren.. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all you ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Counsel in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Proverb 20:5

Love,

omolola ezeifeoma

Managing the Information You Get - 1

Have you ever been in a situation where you are driving on what you call your sure lane (because over time you have used it and it has always worked) only to discover that taking your sure lane was a terrible mistake. For one reason or the other it just was not your day.

Or have you ever bought a one size fits all shirt only to find out you are an exception to the rule.

If you have been in any of these kinds of situations, I say welcome on board.

We live in a time when people are hungry for knowledge more than ever before. People are seeking knowledge from books, conferences, seminars etc. This is a great development I am really excited and happy about. I see young people in relationships (marriage or courtship), going for counseling programs, seminars and reading books together, in the bid to make their relationship work.

After getting all the information, we want to apply them in our marriage or relationship, but for some reasons we find out that this laws are not working for us. Is it that God’s word is not true anymore or the principles learnt don’t work?

Life has thought me that these principles work but they have to be applied uniquely.

Have you ever been in a Mathematics class where your teacher teaches you a topic and it seemed so simple then only to try applying the principles to the assignment given to you and find out the steps followed are not working anymore. I used to have that problem until God gave me a supernatural break through His word.

Let’s start by sharing the Basics you must know about every type of relationship before applying any counsel.

• Every Relationship involves two unique individuals
• Application of every rule or law guiding relationships, is unique
• Something that worked before in your relationship can fail when tried another time
• Every relationship is constantly evolving.
• Your relationship will become what you want after you have given it time to grow.

Every Relationship involves two unique individuals

Our thumb prints prove the fact that every human being is unique, unique in style, perceptions, reasoning, thinking etc. So also is every relationship because it involves two unique individuals too. No two weddings or families are the same in anyway. Appreciate the uniqueness of your partner and take time out to study it.

Application of every rule or law guiding relationships, is unique

Don’t expect that doing the same thing another person did in your own relationship will bring about same result, no matter how widely accepted and Bible based such rule is. Things always work differently in every relationship. Take for example the two fundamental facts about the place Love and Submission in a relationship.

The husband needs to Love the wife and the wife needs to Submit. Nevertheless Love and submission will not have same approach in two relationships. What a woman in a relationship with a liberal man will have to do to be regarded as submissive will be entirely different when compared to a relationship with a traditional African man. So also the way love is expressed by a westernized man is entirely different from a typical African man.

You cannot say he does not love me because he does not do this and this and that, you need to first check out the person involved and capabilities. As basic as some things may be, they are strange to some others. Our backgrounds are different.

Sometime we even assume too much about our partners.

My prayer is that this few words will mark the beginning of healing in as many relationships as need to be healed.

See you next week for more on this very interesting topic that touches my heart.

Love

Omolola

When Marriage gets Tough - 3

It’s Time to Experience God in the miraculous

By the mouth of Elijah, God declared a draught in Israel, yet Elijah was not to be excluded from experiencing the effect of the draught; nevertheless, there was provision for him to see with his eyes the dryness and experience God as Jehovah Jireh.

The first miracle - God tells him to go to the brook, a raven will feed you with bread, flesh and water. An outside person may say he is eating little but considering the situation, he had enough to meet his need.

Sometimes when things are tough all we have is just enough to meet our need. The fact that we have just enough to meet our need does not mean we are not living in the miraculous.

Sometimes we need to step back again and look at our situation from another perspective in order to see His hand. Many times our eyes are too clouded with the problems so much that we fail to see God in our situations.

Let’s take another look at Elijah’s experience, when it was a time for a new experience the brook dried up and God told him to go to a widow, another unlikely source of provision. There he knew abundance much more than he did earlier. God even created an avenue to prove Himself as the almighty.

Sometimes when things get tough, God is setting you up for the miraculous. Imagine you got pregnant the first night or first few months of your marriage, your experience could never be called miraculous. Now think about Hannah! Can you see the difference? Or imagine you never had any financial constraints and your family is growing material wise in leaps and bounds; now imagine you moved into an empty house after marriage and the next day or months that follows, the house is filled to overflowing. Can you imagine what Job and his wife went through when they lost all in one day?

And then God turned around all their losses for good, can you imagine the joy that followed?

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Like the silver smith God is holding you in the fire, not taking His eyes off you for one minute, waiting until He can see his image in your life and relationship.

Whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

Hold on, surely morning will come after the Night.

- omolola ezeifeoma

When Marriage get Tough - 2

It is Time to pray!

Sometimes in marriage things get so bad that it seems you have lost control of your life. Things are just happening around you and you have lost track of time. Two weeks back you were planning for Christmas and all of a sudden some events take place and the last thing on your mind now is Christmas.

Let’s meet Ken. Ken got married to the love of his life after so many objections from both his parents and her parent. Neither set of parents thought the other was good enough for their child. Things take a new turn in his life after his wife got pregnant and lost about three pregnancies in quick successions. And soon after he had a minor problem with his fertility. The doctor convinced them it would only take a few months to rectify things if medications are adhered to. Months rolled by yet the story remained the same.

Mary his wife was under pressure from family and friends, every time she fell sick they began to ask questions. The pressure from her mother in-law kept building up by the day. She was confused, she could not tell anyone what the real problem was. Whenever she wanted to, she remembered she had to cover her husband.

As time passed by, the situation began to take its toll on both husband and wife, the once sweet relationship started going sour. The pressure kept building from both families. The pressure on Mary was getting unbearable for her; she now nags and gets touchy easily. She vents her frustrations at work, at home and the once sweet babe is turning into an unbearable babe. Even the charming smile Ken used to have is fast disappearing! The situation is getting out of control …

Sometimes things get really tough in a marriage! You wonder how things got so bad. You go through your wedding pictures again and again, you tell yourself it was not meant to be like this. This is never like I envisaged it would be.

I have learnt that the issues in marriage never come in expected shades. When these things happen, the last thing we need to do is panic and get soaked up in worries. The last time we said it was time to learn, today we say it is time to pray also!

In my entire walk in the Christian race nothing ever made me realize that prayer is the Master Key, like marriage. After I got married I learnt to pray more and talk less.  Often times there’s nothing much we can do than to pray especially speaking from the female perspective. Prayers said in faith can change any situation no matter how difficult. God is a Faithful God who will always honour His Word.

He said 'If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and will give their sin, and will heal their land’

The restoration of Ken’s fertility is something out of control of both husband and wife, but there was something they could both have done. They could have prayed in faith to get out of the situation.

Praying might not instantly restore his fertility but it would:

• keep hope alive and hope will help them keep their joy
• heal their broken hearts
• help in building their faith together in Christ
• keep them from giving in to distractions
• Provide an avenue for them to share their burdens with one another
• Help them to discover God in a new Light together and stabilise them in their Christian Race

We need to always pray and not faint like the scripture says. As we remain in constant communication with heaven, we will receive instructions as to what steps to take. Keep in touch with heaven concerning your situation. He will come and save you in His time when all things will be Beautiful. As you continually pray, search the scripture for His promises concerning you and hang on to them.

Love

omolola ezeifeoma

When Marriage Gets Tough ...

A Time to learn

Lara after her service year to her nation got a job with a high profile organization like she always dreamed. She met Tom a banker during her service year. Both of them were, Christians who loved the Lord. After going steady for some years, they got married, and a few months after marriage Lara became pregnant.

Upon discovery of the pregnancy, Lara was happy and sad; happy that she was going to have a baby and sad that she would be relieved of her job because of her company’s policy. She really needed the job; things were not going too well in Tom’s bank in recent times. This was just the beginning. Things really got worse overtime. Just as Lara expected, she was relieved of her job. And things continued to get worse at Tom’s bank. The psychological and physical changes taking place in Lara did not help matters. Neither did the financial needs because of the baby on the way and increasing hospital bills due to the rough pregnancy Lara was having.

Lara and Tom started growing apart; they were both under so much pressure. All Lara’s dreams about how her first pregnancy will go were trillions of miles away. Tom wasn’t the caring and loving guy anymore. He was under pressure himself, the salary was not regular anymore, and he did not like the fact that he couldn’t meet Lara’s needs. His spiritual life was not in good shape too. The burden was heavy on him. And all this was just the beginning of their troubles…

Sometimes in marriage things get really tough, tougher than you ever dreamed even if you expected things to get tough sometimes. Even when you are expecting the storms, they don’t come in the way you expect. What do you do when these times come? How do you escape the noise and scare of the storm to remain focused? How do you manage the building challenges when the Honeymoon seems over?

How do you keep your dream of a model marriage alive? How do you stand by your spouse when you seem not to have any strength of your own?

When times like this come, its time to take your notes out and take down some lessons! Someone reading this will be wondering what I’m talking about.

Well I am still here, and did not forget what the story is about. This is a hard truth I had to come to terms with myself. I’ve come to learn that the Word of God remains true no matter how we feel. God’s word is constant regardless of the situation we might face. David the Psalmist saw this and said, Forever Oh Lord your WORD is SETTLED!

The Bible tells us that Our Light affliction is but for a moment working in us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2Cor 4:17).

First thing is never to exaggerate our troubles, rather see them as little issues that will pass. Most times we do not knowingly magnify our problems. When we meditate on our problem without a mind of seeking solution, things get worse. Remember we have a foe that must never be undermined, he lurks around the corner waiting for times like these to display the weakness of our spouses and remind us of the several options we had before marriage.

When things get tough, there’s only one place we need to remain, at the master’s feet and around the children of God to tap strength from others.

God wants to do some great things in our marriages this year but he needs to toughen us.

So get ready get your notes out. You might be going through hard times now, crying, too weak to pray and saying when will these end. It sure will end sometime soon but you need to hang in there first.

It’s a great year ahead, get ready!

Love,

omolola ezeifeoma

Within and Outside the Wall 4

Living Beyond and Above the Sex Trap

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the Flesh.

The Flesh lusteth against the Spirit and the Spirit against the Flesh: and these are contrary the one the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye are led by the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Galatians 5:16-18

The end of all our struggles will come when we walk in the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit all the time will not only place us not above our sexual struggles alone but all our struggles.

Christ did not leave us without help, He left us with the Holy Spirit, the comforter to guide, teach and even reveal the person of Jesus to us. John14:18-26

We will become the perfect person we want to be if we decide to walk in the Spirit always. We will have the perfect relationship we want when both parties in a relationship (of any kind) decide to walk in the Spirit all the time.

Easy to say but how do I get to practice it?

First you need to build a relationship with the God, that’s when you will be able to tell when the Spirit is speaking. Just the way you are able to identify your mum’s voice because of time spent together over time, you will be able to tell when the Spirit is speaking. The more time we spend with God the better we get.

And how do you build a relationship with God?

Firstly, accept the death and resurrection of Jesus as the sacrifice for your sins and the only way to your salvation; Believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord. Desire to have a relationship with God and continuously follow Him

Read the Bible and Pray Regularly. Surround yourself with the right set of people who share your passion for God. Identify good teachers of God’s word and listen to them.

It is very important to feed our mind fat with God’s Word, so that out of the abundance of the word in your mind you are led. You need to be able to say personally, ‘Your word have I hid in my heart that I may not sin against thee’.

Become a Living Sacrifice!

A Living Sacrifice is like a live goat tied to the place of sacrifice and set on fire, it feels the pain and the heat of the fire, yet it cannot leave the spot because it has been tied to the place. And when you bring more fire close to it, it has little or no effect on it because it already is on fire.

I believe this is a good place to start from as we begin the New Year. My prayer this year for you and myself is that we all become Living Sacrifices hot and burning for the Lord Jesus.

Have a Great Year ahead!

Omolola

Within and Outside the Walls 3

Living Above the Sex Trap 

Now that we have accepted the fact that we all share same challenges and our challenges are tied to our past decisions.

What is the way forward? How do we get out of here? How do we live above this challenge?

Sometime ago I tried to personally answer these questions. While meditating on how best to tackle the issue God took me to a level of understanding of what it means for me to have sex outside the confines of marriage. This understanding led me to experience a level of self realization that led to a turn around. I believe we all need a level of self realization that comes from this understanding. Remember Bible says by understanding a house is established.

Long time ago there were several prophecies, some of the prophecies were that David would never lack a son on the throne, there would be a seed of David ……., a virgin shall be with child.

At a point in time in life there was a girl who decided to keep herself chaste and when the time was right chose to marry a young man named Joseph who belonged to the lineage of David. Her choice to remain chaste before and after she met Joseph positioned both of them in God’s plan and purpose for Eternity. It qualified her to be the channel through which the saviour would come. Imagine if it happened that for some reason before she met Joseph she made a mistake by giving in to the charm of some guy she had met when she was young and foolish (as we often describe it). What would have been the effect of her action on her life and even Joseph’s? Would they have ever known the joy of being the saviour’s earthly parent? Would their story be told every Christmas? To think that Mary’s action before ever meeting Joseph could have an effect on Joseph’s future is something that makes me shiver and brings me to think about what effect the life I lived before meeting my husband is having on him now.

Another thing I find interesting is that Mary in her wildest imagination did not think she was keeping herself to be the Mother of Jesus. All she wanted to do was keep herself for the Master.

The understanding that my five minutes of pleasure can change the story of my life and others, helped me a lot. What about you? Do you realize that your decision to keep yourself from any sexual immorality, positions you for God’s purpose for your life and could also rewrite the story of your life and that of others?

There was this widower in the Bible who had not lost his wife for too long. He missed the company and warmth of his wife. Mourning was over; it was time for life to continue. He was on a business trip to a neighbouring town when he met this harlot along the way. His desire for a woman was renewed. He did not have money to pay as he was on his way for business, so he promised to send a kid goat. She was not going to be fooled as she was not there without a purpose, so she asked for his Rod (his work tool), bracelet, Signet (his symbol of authority). This man dropped all these before a stranger in order to satisfy his flesh. He dropped his identity. Like Esau, he exaggerated his press for sex and in his heart said it was worth dropping all for. He enjoyed himself, only to discover later that what he fell into was a trap. A trap set because his daughter in-law who knew his tendencies, just the way the devil knows ours. Months later his acts that were done secretly were exposed.

When I first read this story I asked myself, is sex worth this much? Do we need to lay who we are down for sex? Judah was later identified by the things he dropped. He paid much more later because of the shame that followed his act.

 For a full gist of the story you can read Genesis 38.

Christ finished the work of Salvation on the cross, His last word before giving up the ghost was “it is finished!” Therefore we can say God has completed all that concerns our survival in the Christian race.

In Joshua1:8 God told Joshua (and He tells us today), this book shall not depart from thy mouth, you will meditate on it day and night and you will observe to do all that is in it… and you shall make your way prosperous…..

From this passage we can see God telling us that prosperity depends on us in this passage.

In one of the comments, a reader quoted the words of David in Psalm 119 “Thy word have I hidden in my heart that I may not sin against thee”. Truly this is a good scripture to remember always but this words need to become our words too. We need to feed our minds fat with God’s word.

An underlying fact we must always bear in mind even while taking responsibility is that it not by power or might, but by His spirit. There is grace to live above sin first and not just grace to rise up from sin.

God help us all as we decide to remain standing despite all odds. And as the festive season approaches, remember to walk in the Spirit so that you don’t fulfill the desires of the flesh.

God bless you,

Omolola

Within and Outside the Walls 2

Christians and the Sex Trap

….A man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust and enticed.

                                                                     James 1:14

How did we get here?

Every time a person falls without taking a second look to find out why he/she falls, there is a risk of having the same fall happen again. Why? Because he/she never knew why he fell and does not know what to look out for to avoid a second fall.

This is why I want us to answer this question first, How did we get here?

How did we get into a situation where our flesh seeks the most to do those things that our spirit hates?

It’s time we forgot for a second the story about Adam and Eve, and how man fell and sin was passed to all men. If we have been accepted Jesus as our saviour then we can claim to be new creature, for whom old things have passed away and all things have become new.

If so how come we that have been born of incorruptible seed have corruptible tendencies? Let’s do some reasoning together and draw the picture of an average believer.

Lets call this believer Billy; Billy loved to read as a child and read a lot of books while growing up, from various authors ranging from Enid Blyton’s classics, Pacesetters, Hardley Chase, Harlequin, Mills and Booms, Jackie Collins, Harold Robins, Sydney Sheldon, Dennis Robins, Barbra Taylor and the likes.

When it came to music, Billy listened to and sang every genre of music uncensored, from various artists like Boys II Men, R Kelly, Tupac, Aerosmith, Eric Clapton, Janet Jackson, Maria Carey, Toni Braxton, Madonna, Aron Hall, Withney Houston, Bob Marley, etc

Billy watched enough movies without proper guidance; Billy saw it all on TV, kissing, smooching, sex and all.

At school Billy talked and fantasized about sex with friends who were either practicing with their housemaids or neighbours, or dreaming about it.

The neighbourhood also exposed Billy to adults who abused Billy.

All these formed Billy’s attitude toward sex. Then came Billy’s first relationship which lasted for years. Soon Billy began experimenting, and soon it became a way of having fun for Billy.

Then something happened and Billy accepted Christ. Billy became a new creature but did not suffer a memory loss.

A major source of problem with staying in faith for Billy was the knowledge acquired years before knowing Christ. Billy’s mind had been well cultivated in those years by the media, Billy’s environment and experiences.

This is a brief summary of Billy’s life. Any sincere person reading this piece will agree with me that Billy paints the picture an average Christian’s life. A major issue everyone of us had (or still have) after giving our lives to Christ was the life we lived before knowing him. For me I lived in the nightmare of the life I lived before knowing Christ. Not that my life before knowing Christ was as colourful as Billy’s but my life before knowing Christ disturbed my prayer life, worship and thought process. For me I had to stop reading any literature that was not Bible based, (I even avoided Christian Romance) and listening to the radio so as to avoid anything not godly going inside of me.

Bible says don’t conform to the world but be transformed by the renewing your mind. My beloved in the Lord you will agree with me that the situation we have today is this;

• we go to church
• read our Bibles more often
• Pray more often than we used to
• Listen to the Music we used to listen to + Gospel Music
• Read all the books we used to read + Christian Romantic Novels
• Follow the Fashion trend (seeking the cover page look)
• Watch all that TV provides with little or no filtration
• Listen to the Radio 24/7

And then expect to live a holy life because we are new creatures.

We did not suffer a memory loss, the pleasure of sex outside and inside Christ is the same, the only difference is that now you are in Christ you have a conscience that gives you a guilty feeling after.

Jesus Christ said, the things that defile a man are not the things that go into a man but the things that come out of a man. Why? Because you can decide to make something positive or negative of what goes into you. We have taken in all the multi media jargons and it has produced fruits of ungodliness, so much that now we are in Christ we are still who we were before knowing Christ, the only difference is that we feel guilty after and ask for forgiveness.

Imagine if Billy became born again after he was 20, almost ripe for marriage, so some years after conversion Billy takes on the first relationship without this renewal of mind the Bible requires of us, what do you think will happen?

You can be sure that Billy might not know the first thing two children of God in a relationship should be doing. And some Christians in church will meet Billy (burning and active for the Lord because of the fresh fire) and would be taken to her. From there a relationship begins.

So based on all this assumption a relationship begins, by the time either of them know what is happening, the quality of their foundation is revealed.

After giving our lives to Christ we need a complete overhauling. Someone reading this might say yes, but this happens over time, I do agree with that, nevertheless I believe a level of renewal of mind must take place.

Roman12:1-3 says I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto the God, which is your reasonable service. And be not be conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

The things we have consumed in form of books, videos, music, words before knowing Christ have formed our philosophies and made us who we were before Christ.

So we did not get here just because man fell in the garden, we got here by virtue of the decisions we made before knowing Christ. We need to take some responsibility. And now we need to begin to prepare again the soil of our heart for God. Go back to the word of God for direction.

Remember How shall a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your word. Ps119:9 (MSG)

For some others this is not the story, it is that they have lived so much of a holy life that they don’t know what it feels like, what they carry is their curiosity, without any knowledge they fall victims at a time when they let down their guard. Remember He that breaks the edge, the serpent bites.

Bible says let no man thinks he stands lest he falls, this is one rule everyone must appreciate. No one has immunity from falling a victim, so even now I don’t see myself as attained. I do not speak because I am an authority, I speak because I am one who shares in this struggle.

Some married person reading this might regard all this as information for the single but I say no it is not, that is why I referred to the scripture, Let no man think He stands. A married man/woman is more exposed than the single, times come when for some reasons spouses cannot come together sexually because either of the two is indisposed for one reason or the other. Then other party needs to go back to all the lessons he/she learnt as a single and then it usually becomes a little more difficult.

No matter you status, No one is beyond being tempted sexually.

How then shall we escape?

Please your Comments will be well appreciated and stories of how you’ve been able to stay above will be well appreciated. You might be saving a soul.

See you soon.

Omolola

Within and Outside the Walls - 1

Once upon a long time, man did not need to worry about being naked or not, he was innocent, without the knowledge of good or evil until he ate the fruit and his innocence was gone. Today we fight to live beyond the consequence of an act that took place several ages before we came.

This week we will look at one battle, peculiar to all at one time or the other, be it before or after marriage.

Sometime ago I was reading an article about a woman struggling to remain chaste for God. I was glad someone could open up about her struggles unlike many of us who keep quiet, while dying in silence and carry the image of a saint about until God in His mercy delivers us. If God opens our eyes to see the challenge many of us Christians face in our sexual life we would be surprised. Surprised to find out first that you are not alone, secondly that such issues can exist in the life of a Christian.

I was at a meeting years back where a married man confessed to having flash backs of past relationships (premarital ones I mean) while he was with his wife.

Today the challenges have increased; the devil has strategically positioned himself and even positioned us too for attack. Everything around us is trying to preach sex. The music, the dance steps, the films, the billboards, the girl or boy next door, the clothes in the market place, the internet etc all preaching one message, the devils message Sexuality!

• How did we get here?
• How do we get out?
• How can we live above these challenges?

I have found out that Christians in relationships (whether pre-marital or marital) are often more susceptible to sexual sins.

There is a need for us to reposition ourselves for this great challenge. Could there be something we are not doing right? How can we help one another? Many have made a mistake of saying scripture says if you are pressed get married but sincere people know it does not go away. It only comes back in another more complicated form called Adultery!

Just as I was writing this a scripture comes to mind, confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed (James 5:16 KJV). This is a very powerful scripture that we do not practice and I really don’t blame us because of the quality of Christians around, I must tell you I have practiced this scripture and it works.

Christians in pre-marital or marital relationship should be able to confess this part of their lives with one another prayerfully with the mind of helping each other to remain pure.

I am a strong believer in the word of God being able to save us from all life’s issues. Bible tells us we will grow after we have tasted of God’s grace (1Peter 2:2-3).

Here are some scripture that have renewed my mind in this regards.

The right attitude

‘Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, all you soul and all your mind ’ (Matt 22:37).

The way to live Clean

How shall a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your word. Ps119:9 (MSG)

Grace to Live above sin

‘….where sin abounded, grace did much more abound’ Rom 5:20

“Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” Rom6:1b

 Some years ago, someone made an illustration relating sex to fire, that I will never forget, let me share what she said with you. She said sex within marriage is like lighting a stove with fire and then sex outside legal marriage is like throwing a lighted match stick into a keg of Petrol. Are you starting a wild fire?

God has put in so much for our restoration; we need to tap into these resources at our disposal everyday to remain above.

My prayer this week is that we will start a journey that will transform the life of our readers.

Love God!

- omolola ezeifeoma

Handling mistakes in Relationship

When I was pregnant with my first baby I subscribed to a pregnancy newsletter, one of the newsletters encouraged that its never to late to start eating right and in fact you can always start all over again - don’t give up. This helped a lot.

And this is the word for someone reading this article today. Have you made some silly mistakes in the past and you’re wondering if you can ever make up for them? Are you so afraid of making a mistake that you have refused to take steps? Is the fear of making a mistake causing you mess things up? God is talking to you today.

God makes ALL things work together for the good of people that are working towards fulfilling His purpose Romans8:28. Unlike men who look at outward acts, God searches the heart for the sincerity of purpose - I Samuel 16:7. I have made mistakes in handling my marriage from time to time but my mistakes have made me wiser. The mistakes made me wiser because of my attitude towards them. Every time I reflect on my marriage I decide to do better and sometimes start all over again.

There is no marriage counselor with a formula that works for every marriage, but God has given us Jesus as the Way to Life John 14:6-7. Jesus has left us with the Holy Spirit too, who will guide us into all truth and keep us from falling away, teaching us how to pray when we face terrible situations, revealing the truth of the word to us, telling us how to react to different situations John14:16-18.

I wish I could give a super formula that takes care of every issue in relationships but the truth it there is no other way than the one who was, who is and is to come.

God wants to walk with us through the valleys and the mountains. He knows the way; He alone has been through it before. Even if you have made a mistake before, go back and try again. Imagine if you refused to try walking again because you fell during your first attempt, you’ll never have known the joy of walking and running which you know today. Take your strides again. Rise up and try again. Keep Trying.

Good words to Remember -

• I've learned . . . that being kind is more important than being right.
• I've learned . . . that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
• I've learned . . . that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
• I've learned . . . that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do.

Have a Blessed Week!

- omolola ezeifeoma

The Sure Answer to Marriage Success

Some years back during the valentine season, my sister watched a very interesting couple on TV, being very impressed by their lives; she decided to tape the program. Last Saturday she came to my house with some interesting news - the beautiful couple were going through a divorce!

No! This is too much, some weeks ago it was two ministers of God that were in a wife batter situation and now this!

I am actually short of words. I was going to talk about one of these two incidents last week but I chose to be mute about it and just ask close friends to pray about the situation.

With the turn of things and how it affected me, I know its time to bring it on and talk about it through this medium.

It is really sad to find that two couples who have talked about marriage extensively are going to end their marriage but you know what, the beauty of God’s word is that it is settled; it needs no human validation or test.

The fact that these couple are going for divorce the second time in their lives does not mean the Gospel is not true. No, it remains TRUE!

But it sure tells all we book lovers to go back to the scriptures to find answers rather than go through book shelves looking for answers. I know it has gotten so bad these days that we Christians no longer read their Bibles because there’s a book on every topic on the book shelf. This is a wake up call to all ye book lovers to take a chill pill and go back to the Book of books. It gives instructions for the perfecting of the saints.

All  Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 

Doctrine

Follow link to get  definition of the word.

Reproof

Strong Concordance describes it as to tell a fault, rebuke, reprove.

Correction

Strong Concordance describes it as a straightening up again, rectification.

Instruction

Strong Concordance describes it as tutorage, that is, education or training; by implication disciplinary correction: - chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.

Perfect,

Strong Concordance describes it as Fresh, that is, (by implication) complete.

Thoroughly furnished

Strong Concordance describes it as to finish out (time); figuratively to equip fully (a teacher.

I purposely left out any form of explanation; I want to encourage us to take time out to figure what this passage is saying and how it applies to your life especially your marriage. Have a great time finding God’s Purpose.

God Bless You

Love

Omolola

Enjoying every point in marriage

In recent times God has blessed me with the opportunity of nurturing a child. I have been opportune to watch him grow from one stage to another. As I watch him transform before my eyes, I learn truths about life.

These truths have changed my perspective to life; they have helped me become a better person in recent times.

I have learnt….

I have learnt my marriage will not achieve some expected milestones at same time with others but we will eventually get there.

I have learnt that, it’s not about the rate of growth but the quality of growth.

I have learnt that the rating of the health of a marriage is not superficial.

I have learnt that the more time I give to my marriage/relationship the better the quality.

Every stage is but for a moment, enjoy it while it last.

For every stage in life there is a challenge which will help you achieve a milestone.

Each Milestone achieved will be useful in the next stage to come.

God will not give you anything just because you want them but because you need them.

My Resolve

I have decided to see my relationship with my husband as a child I am nurturing. I have decided to see our high and low moments as precious moments to be relished because once that moment is gone, it might never come back like that again.

Childhood is a period of life that comes with lots of privileges, pampering and all.

Adulthood takes away a lot of privileges, pampering and replaces them with responsibilities, it demands the use of skills gathered along the way.

Every stage in life is temporal, it is a moment that will pass, be careful how you handle it.

Interesting statements about marriage

I’ve learnt to overlook many things, correct as many as I can, and fix what is left myself.

- omolola ezeifeoma

Marriage - A Lesson From The Kids ...

      And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

      Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.         Mat 18:2-5 

Sometime ago I asked children in my Sunday school class the question, “how many of you tell lies?” In response I got several hands up. These ones didn’t care who was watching them or what the person felt, they were just being honest.

In the Bible passage above Jesus is teaching us a great lesson we need to live by. You need to be converted and live like children again to enter the Kingdom of God.

What is the kingdom of God about? It’s about a domain where God’s rules reign and as a result His Peace, Joy, Love, and Righteousness abound such place. If we are going make our marriage a prototype of God’s kingdom then we need to be converted.

In children’s world except for now that adults are beginning to negatively influence this pure ones, there is innocence, truthfulness, no malice, self expression, trust.

Have you lost your pure thoughts about your marriage?

What are you keeping from your spouse?

What is that hurt, you keep in your heart?

What are those words you have left unsaid to one another?

Who are you looking out to impress at the expense of your marriage?

Humble yourself like the little child and let God lift you up.

It is well with your relationship in Jesus Name.

Shalom

omolola ezeifeoma

It Will Pass - 2

I am so happy that we have the Word of God to hold on to, no matter what we go through in life. I don’t know what you are going through in your marriage or relationship at the moment but one thing I know is that, the issues you face today will pass. Just like the night gives way for the morning everyday, those things that make you fear that your dream marriage will not happen will pass away and give room for your dream.

Being married has made me realise that I really need to have someone to hold on to, someone I can throw all my weight upon when I am weak, someone who can love me in spite of all my past and future short comings, someone who always sees my heart and understands me, someone more than my husband … Jesus.

Just like anyone I have come to realise from experience that my dream marriage (just like yours) will not appear day one after the wedding. But one thing is for sure my marriage will evolve into my dream marriage.

Are you married? Are you going through issues in your marriage? Don’t give up! Hold on to God’s word and remember your dream marriage would evolve. God knows what you are going through and He has been there before. He was in your shoes when man fell in the garden, but unlike you being omniscience, the one who holds the future had Jesus as the ultimate plan for man’s redemption. Today, as a Christian you share His nature, you can be sure your dream marriage will come to pass. Remember in the beginning the earth was covered with water which speaks of instability but then God spoke and things began to take shape. Follow in His Steps.

Are you about to marry and in the midst of your wedding preparation you feel like you’re making a mistake due to pressures?

Don’t make the mistake many ahead of you have made. I have learnt from experience that many spend a lot trying to make the wedding ceremony a success and little attention is paid to life after the ceremony.

Oh I wish a great wedding ceremony will make a great marriage, believe me if it could, I would have mortgaged my earnings for the next twenty years for my wedding.

This is a mistake many make and I am sure someone is making at the moment.

I have discovered that the extravagant wedding ceremonies have been more of a pain for a lot of couples than a blessing. The guest have gone home talking about the display of wealth and all at the wedding. But the couple is left with debt incurred from trying to have a fairy tale wedding. The debts have even brought more strain to the newly weds relationship. Focus on the things that will improve on life after marriage and trust in God’s word all the way.

Are you in a budding relationship? Learn from the mistakes those ahead of you have made. Work towards being a better person, so you can have a dream marriage. Find out the things that are most important in life, chase them and make them your focus. Your dream marriage depends on who you are and the choices you will make. The choices you will make are determined by your person.

Love God and seek Him with all your heart, then God will settle you.

Read the Lyrics of a Song I love

*************************

It takes a strong determination

Courage forgive

And heart that reconciles

Life full of devotion

Love that won’t give up

*********************

Your dream marriage will only appear after you have given it All

Are you there yet to know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, all I am saying might be strange to you. The first step is an encounter with the Lord Jesus. It starts with realizing you are incomplete without Him and that you need Him.

Pray this prayer “Father I have come to realise I am incomplete without you, I am a sinner who is sorry, like the prodigal please take me back. I believe you gave your son for my sin and I confess He is Lord even in my life from TODAY. Help me from now, order my steps that I might grow in the knowledge and fear of you. Thank you father because I know you have heard me”

Feel free to write me to let me know you views especially if you have prayed this prayer. Your views are always welcome.

God Bless you!

- omolola ezeifeoma

It Will Pass - 1

Hello My Dear Reader,

I have a question for you, what kind of marriage do (or did) you plan to have? If you are married now let me ask, are you anywhere near what you planned for? If you are not married yet, does the future look like you would have your dream marriage?

Recently I was speaking to a friend who will be marrying soon, and I asked this question. The reply went like this – “a marriage where husband and wife are united and very much in love with one another and God. A beautiful family, Heaven on earth, living Happily Ever After! A home that exudes the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, faith, Meekness, temperance).  A home I can run to at the end of a bad day and feel relief the minute I walk in through the door”.

All these are beautiful things that we have a right to, but like every other thing in life there is a price for it.

We deserve a fulfilled marriage and more because of God’s word concerning marriage. We know the word of God is true and can never return void.

God looked at Adam saw a vacuum that needed to be filled, He created Eve and presented her to Adam as his companion for life.

Bible lets us know that

Two are better than one because the have good reward for their Labour

Ecc 4:9

Marriage is Honourable in all and the bed undefiled Heb 13:4

Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord Prov18:22

…  if  two  of you  shall agree on  earth  as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven Mat 18:19  

Are you married and loosing hope on your marriage?

Are you yet to be married and wondering when it will be?

My word to you today is this, don’t loose hope, keep praying and working hard. God is faithful to His word, He will do that which He has promised. Keep doing your part of the bargain. God is faithful!

Remember the Scripture that says after you have received the promise you need patience. Keep at it, it will soon materialize before your eyes to the Glory of God.

Love

omolola ezeifeoma

Before You Give Up in Love - 2

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 14:17 NLT

Be patient in trouble and always be prayerful.  Romans 12:26 NLY

I once heard the story of a man who gave his son a puzzle to solve. He disarranged a world map puzzle and gave his son to arrange it back because he was disturbing his meditation. Unknown to him, at the back of the world map puzzle was the picture of a man. The boy did not waste time arranging it back and this surprised the father greatly. He asked the little boy how he did it and his response was "If the man is right, the world would be right".

When problems arise in your marriage and everything seems to be in disarray, and you are considering where to start from, remember what that little boy said - "If the man is right, the world would be right". The solution could just be you. How do I mean? When you act right or decide to put things right in your own life, it influences a change in your partner thereby making your marriage right. Let the change in your marriage or relationship start from you. You don’t have to wait for your spouse to change first. Be an actor of love and not only a ‘reactor’. Take time to pray about the problems and situations you are going through, committing your spouse to God. I am confident that He would make a way out for you. One thing I found out about prayer is that it changes you first. So let your prayers change you for your situation to become right. Allow God to work in your life and your spouses'. Let your actions be commensurate to your prayers. Pray for a change and expect a change.

At times, the solution may be a change in character or habit. Majority of problems in homes are caused by character and habit differences. For instance, a dirty wife with a shabby dress sense and unsubmissive attitude has gracefully invited problems into her home. Such a woman would be wasting her time if she goes 40days fasting and prayer because of the problem. All she needs to do is to change her ways first. Check your life first; it could be your spending habits, nagging attitude, pride, anger, culinary skills, nonchalant attitude...

What are those things you need to do away with? Let the change start from you, be determined to win your spouse back with love and humility. Pray to God, learn of Him and let Him work on your character. God wants to dry away your tears, heal your heart and relieve you of your pains, only just allow Him to perfect His work in you, remoulding your character. For when He changes you, it influences your partner to change, normalcy returns and then your heart is filled with joy. I Peter 3:1 sets the tone - Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands' authority. Some husbands may not obey God's word. Their wives could win these men for Christ by the way they live without saying anything.

After the change has come, remember to always succeed in your marriage everyday.

 busola oshinubi

Before You Give Up in Love - 1

Love never gives up, never looses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.  1 Corinthians 14: 7 (NLT)

Perhaps you are at the crossroad about to make a decision; Quit or endure? You are facing a lot of problems in your marriage that is getting you hardened by the day. You have probably exerted efforts to make your marriage work instead, it is growing worse. Love has turned sour; seeing your partner irritates you. Uhm ... You say marriage is not a bed of roses.

I can understand how you feel. Marriage may not be a bed of roses to you but even if it were so, the rose plants I know have thorns in their stem. Sometimes you may get a small ‘sting’ while trying to pick the roses. Marriage may not fit exactly like what we were being told in the fairy tales "and they lived happily ever after". It usually comes with very big challenges.  Before you make your decision to quit, I would like to remind you that God is so much more interested in your situation and He wants a turn around for you so that you may enjoy the blessedness of marriage. Like the phrase, "it's not over until it is over", I know your innermost desire is to see a turn around in your marriage.

Consider this: The way you respond to life determines what you get from it - Gal 6:7. Your attitude affects a lot of things and as you truly desire a change, be positive in your mind. Don't base your marriage on feelings because they can be very deceptive rather let it be based on choice; the choice to always stick together; choice to love no matter what. See those problems as a challenges; a challenge to love better, to be more patient; to learn. When you see problems as a challenge, you have already laid a foundation for change and for the solution. Challenges are meant to make you better. It works when you are positive in your mind about your situation, believing that turbulent times will pass away. No matter the situation, make a decision today that you will win your spouse back to love.

Have you ever considered why a larva has to go through a lot of struggle in the cocoons to become a beautiful butterfly? Of course to get rid of the ugly part. If the Larva had refused to see the cocoon as a challenge and decides to react negatively, it would die as a larva.

Regardless of the situation, be positive in your mind, don't give up in Love. Be determined to win your partner back. Then you will enjoy the blessedness in marriage. You will begin to succeed everyday in your marriage.

- busola oshinubi

Unequal Yoking - Part II

Let me start by saying a big thank you to Titi and Suzan for their comments. I am really happy the last message has been a blessing to you.

Last time we started talking about Unequal Yoking. I will like to continue from where I stopped.

Imagine you have two people who want to carry a long table and one of them is a six footer, while the other is a three footer. You can imagine what the two parties will go through carrying the table because they are not of the same height.

The truth of the matter is that you might never find two people of same height but then there’s a need to get someone who is within the same range. To say I am looking for someone just like me with same family background, tribe, church, school, experiences blah blah blah will not just be realistic. Nevertheless, there must be some equality especially spiritually. What Bible says is “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers”. God expects the core of our being to come from our spirituality.  As Christians, our whole life should revolve around our relationship with God. I don’t know if you are like me but nothing works around me when I am not in tune with God. And from experience I know that in marriage you will do yourself a lot of good by marrying someone you share core spiritual beliefs with.

You can appear to be unequally yoked with a fellow believer, not because of the difference in your denominations but in your beliefs. Take for example one party believes in speaking in tongues and the other does not, one believes you should guard your heart with all diligence and that affects music, movies and all, while the other party does not think so. I could go on and on.

For a single reading this article, I think this is a time for you to identify your core values as they will help you in choosing your spouse. Identify what you can live with and what you cannot.

Many Christians take for granted the fact that a person’s background can have serious influence on the life of such person and your marriage. Please don’t get me wrong, I know we do not have the opportunity to choose our background (that is our family) and it should not be held against a person, nevertheless, I believe you should have an idea of what you are going in for and choose to accept or reject it.

Take for example the story of Dipo who is in a Christan relationship with Kenny who has promiscuous sisters. Kenny is a good girl alright but she doesn’t have good influence from her family members and these people are not people Dipo can yank out of her life. Dipo will have to go ahead bearing the fact that he will have to deal with this people directly or indirectly, at the same time Kenny can convince Dipo that her family will not influence their marriage in any way.

Many Christians have missed this fact. Remember Abraham told his servant to go back to his father’s house to go and look for a wife for his son. He took this so seriously that he asked that his servant swear to him.

May be you are married and reading this and somehow you realize you and your spouse seem to be unequally yoked in many ways, all hope is not lost. While going through marriage counseling before marriage, we shared a prayer “Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change and also gracefully change the things I can”. Always pray about those things that really bother you about your spouse and be very patient. Cover up your spouse deficiencies and be strong.

Here is the bottom line, you will never find two people of same spirituality, values, background etc but then similarities must out number differences especially Spiritual similarities.

God bless you as you seek to do His will beyond yours!

Love,

- omolola ezeifeoma

Unequal Yoking

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as dove. Mat 10:16 

He that diggeth a pit shall fall into it; and whoso breaketh a hedge, a serpent shall bite him Ecc 10:8.

There’s a burden that I have carried for a while now about Christian relationships, because of a trend I have noticed. In recent times I have seen quite a number of Christian relationships break up. And this trend really bugs me and makes me wonder why? So many questions come to mind. I ask myself what did they do or didn’t do? Is it that God isn’t speaking any more? What exactly is happening to us?

I think there is something we are not really getting right about Christianity and Relationships. I have found that in some cases the problem is that either or both parties are too carnal or appear to be too spiritual about issues. I have heard it being said many times even by Christians, that when it comes to relationships, there’s nothing spiritual about it. But you know what; in my life I have found this to be false. I have come to realize that not heeding to God’s word really is the problem we face.

Let me share this story with you.

Sade is a nice Christian girl. She went for a Christian program recently and she met Jade a brother there. After the program, addresses were exchanged and both parties kept contact. Soon Sade realized that Jade was into pornography and porn wasn’t a torn in the flesh he was dealing with, but a lifestyle he enjoyed. The friendship was maintained and soon Jade began to ask Sade to marry him. Sade was confused; she didn’t know what to do. Somehow she’s been emotionally attached to this guy and now with all the new discoveries, she’s confused.

Let me stop here so we can analyse this together.

Sade didn’t do anything wrong by meeting a brother at a Christian gathering and exchanging details, keeping in touch wasn’t wrong either. But when she found out that this so called brother was into Porn and enjoying every bit of it without any form of remorse, what should she have done? How did she get friendly enough for this bro to be asking her hand in marriage and to top it all, how did she get emotionally attached to an unbeliever?

In the first few articles I posted on this site, we talked about love, if you haven’t read it, I think you should because it will help you understand me better. How come Sade did not take to her heels when she found out about Jade’s Porn troubles? Didn’t it tell her that Jade wasn’t so much of a Christian as he claimed? Another question is how come Sade a Christian babe could be attracted to a sinner man? The truth is that someone reading this article will be quick to say Sade was not a Christian in the first place but you know what, when you meet Sade you’ll admire her Christianity.

Lets say Sade was trying to help him be a Christian, good but did she forget that passage where Paul said  “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted”.  The latter part of that passage is what Sade forgot to take note of. The first part stuck so much. That takes me back to the two passages I started with where Jesus explained our situation to us. We are sheep amongst wolves; we should be cautious with unbelievers because we are not of this world. We need to be wiser than the serpent himself (the devil). He knows no matter how spiritual we might claim to be we are human and he is just looking for that little space to creep in.

Sometime ago I was in my room and God just gave me the opportunity to see what the danger of breaking the edge is. Because of the snakes nature he needs only a little space to be able to get through a hole. It is able to cunningly squeeze itself through a little space to get to the other side. So God began to show me how I have let the enemy have space in my marriage. You may have fallen into the same mistakes too at one point or the other in your life. He showed me how I gave the devil space by allowing arguments to drag for so long? How I try to absolve myself from any mistake in our marriage? How I see myself as the perfect person when I have issues of my own? How I allowed the devil toy with my mind, explaining my husband thoughts to me? And so on. I could go on and on.

You know what? I think you should meditate a little on these things, especially the scriptures and see how they affect you. We do experience similar issues here or there Remember the only way to keep our way pure is by heeding to God’s word.

See you soon.

Love

omolola ezeifeoma

The Place of Prayer in Relationships

When my husband and I were courting, one of our fathers in the Lord told us to write on the place of prayer in marriage. While thinking of what to write for this week I remembered the essay we wrote then and this is what inspired what I want to share with you this week.

Let me start with the lyrics of a song I am sure most believers sang in Sunday school or church at one time or the other.

Prayer is the key  2x

Prayer is the master key

Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer

Prayer is the master key

The place of prayer in all we do in life cannot be overemphasized especially in marriage. We need to pray always and not faint. Bible says we should PRAY without ceasing, and also Watch and PRAY. Be anxious for nothing but in everything by PRAYER and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (Phil 4:6).

And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayer of the saints (Rev 5:8).

Prayer from the lips of a believer is like a sweet smelling savour, it goes before God as such and the result is a wonder on earth, No wonder the Word of the God tells us the prayer of the sinner is an abomination to God.

Like a master key that opens any door, Prayer opens several doors in marriage. In the place of prayer several battles are won, situations are resolved, hearts of stone become flesh, aching hearts are soothed, wounds are healed, storms are stilled. I could go on and on about what prayer can do in a marriage.

When I wrote my essay on prayer in marriage, I did so without a complete understanding or any experience of marriage. Today I still maintain that I know little but I have practically used the master key to open several doors in my marriage. So like Paul said I share with you that which I have handled.

We need to pray always – giving thanks and making supplications to God. When you are faced with something stormy, go to the one who slept in a storm. When your heart is aching, speak to the one who appreciates a broken heart, He's the one who went through more betrayals than we could ever experience. When it seems like a wall is coming between you and your partner speak to the one who brought down the walls of Jericho. When your situation is like a maze and you feel lost, call out to the omnipresent one who sees everything and is everywhere, there's no spot on earth He does not knows. We have a High Priest who can appreciate all we go through.

Stop fighting battles, you're not meant to fight, give yourself the opportunity of experiencing the passage that says “Be Still and Know that I am God!” After you have prayed, do not worry, have faith that God is able to do all things. God said "Man shall leave mother and father and cleave to his wife" He knows all that is involved in your becoming one and He is not planning to start a thing and not complete it, it is not in His nature.

-lola ezeifeoma

A cord of three strands

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12b

As I was trying to round up on the last post on 'Careful what you believe', I noticed this part of our text, a cord of three strands. I meditated on what God was trying to tell me here. It's wonderful what I re-discovered. ‘Wonderful’ because I never saw things this way before and ‘rediscovered’ because God had once told me this same thing before I got married.
This word is necessary for every one in a marriage or courtship. Being from the kind of background I came from, I worried about the success of my marriage, I especially prayed that my husband would never cheat on me. One day God in the cool of the day like of old, told me that my husband's faithfulness to me was tied to his (that is my husband's) faithfulness to Him (God). That became my peace, but you know what, I didn't hold on to the word like I should have. I hope someone yet to marry will do better than me. Thank God my husband has been a good one despite my attitude.

So what has this word got to do with the text, ‘A cord of three Strands’? What or who makes up these three strands? In marriage counseling, people are advised not to share what happens in their marriage with anyone. But you know what, there's one person every detail should be shared with, this is the third person who will make your marriage unbreakable and really blissful.

He alone has the best advice for every situation that may come up. He has the right words you need to say to seem like the best partner you are not anyway. Individually you can go share secrets with Him and as a couple you can go to him. He is always there.

Every time you spend time together or individually with him, strength, hope, peace is renewed, fears are also taken care of. This person is no one but God himself. As a couple and individually you need to seek God. You need to have both individual and corporate altars. Share the word of God, pray to God and serve God together. This is very essential, remember the scripture says "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added on to you". Note that these things there referred to clothing, shelter ... which represent the things we worry about. I translate this scripture to mean that as we seek God's Kingdom together we make God the third Person and all our worries are taken care of.

Seek Him more. To the man, I say take it upon you to build the altar and to the woman, I say be a worthy helper. Any married person will agree that it really takes commitment on the part of husband and wife to establish an altar after marriage. You will both be very busy and tired considering the world we live in today; at this point we need to choose to either live by our convictions or convenience.
God help us all as we work to attain this.

Love you
omolola ezeifeoma.